We’ve all been there.

You’re on a first date; you’ve spent the first 30 minutes on small talk – and, to be honest, you’re getting a bit bored – so you’re ready to get deeper and learn more about the person across the table from you.

Yet, you just can’t get beyond the typical, standard set of questions…

• Do you have any pets?
• Where did you grow up?
• How many siblings do you have?

And so on, and so forth…

Is it you? No, it can’t be. Is it them? Probably not.

Why can’t you just skip the small talk and start having engaging conversations?

We see this happening so frequently and we want – no, we need – to change this!

Here’s how you can stop having small talk now and engage with your first dates in a much more fulfilling manner.

Get to know your first date before meeting them.

There’s something to be said about attempting to skip the small talk entirely before meeting a first date, so if there’s an opportunity, why not try?

As you’re connecting with your potential first date through ROVR, make sure to touch on points of interest while you’re getting to know each other through the app. Do they have siblings in their photos? Have they made mention of a dog in their life? What part of town do they live in?

If you can connect with points of interest and tackle the standard topics of conversation before meeting your potential first date, you can go right on ahead and start having the conversations that matter.

Be selective with first dates.

We encourage you to not just say yes to anybody; instead, be selective, and make sure you have the potential for a connection before you agree to a first date.

Don’t settle, and don’t base your selection exclusively on photos. Read their profile, get to know the individual. Make sure you have a connection before agreeing to meet.

Choose an engaging first date location.

If you’re a people-watcher (really, who isn’t?), why not opt for an engaging first date location where you can admire and generate conversation over people watching? A fun bar either before or after dinner will do the trick.

Or… perhaps going bowling, hiking, or engaging in some other activity will spark the conversation, since you’re doing something together that is engaging and interesting!

So, if you choose a first date location that will act as a backdrop for great conversation you can skip the small talk (almost) entirely!

Avoid cliché questions

Sometimes avoiding small talk is as simple as just knowing which questions not to ask. You both know how the weather’s been lately, you probably know where you went to high school from stalking each other’s Facebooks, so don’t even bother bringing these topics up. Just start asking questions about things you’re actually interested in! You can talk about something funny that happened at work that week, something interesting you’re learning in one of your classes, or how you feel about a recent news article. Pretend you’re talking to a friend you’ve known forever, and the conversation should flow naturally.

Make eye contact

If your date feels like you’re engaged in the conversation, he or she will be more likely to open up and have a great discussion. If you’re constantly checking your phone or staring at the table, your date will probably feel like you don’t want to be there, and may feel awkward or uncomfortable. This is where the forced small talk is most likely to start. If you make eye contact, smile, and put your date at ease, you’ll create an environment that is more conducive to engaging conversation.

As you’re preparing for a first date, consider the importance of skipping the standard points of conversation as you focus on engaging with the individual across from you. By connecting with your date and getting beyond the typical and often standard first date questions, you can truly get to know one another better – and more quickly – than ever before!