It’s no secret that relationships are complicated, and sometimes it’s just hard to know if that person you’re dating is truly good for you. When you first meet someone you’re often “head over heels” and tend to see things through “rose colored glasses.” In the “Romance Stage” of a relationship your brain releases feel good chemicals that often keep you from seeing who the other person really is. So…it’s not unusual to overlook the negative things that others around you can sometimes see that you don’t.

Well, here are some Relationship Red Flags that it’s important to pay attention to even when you’re in the Romance Stage of a new relationship. By keeping these in the back of your mind you’ll be better able to spot the negative warning signs before you’re in over your head!

#1: They Want To Rush The Relationship.

So you’re just getting to know each other. However, your new SO is already talking about being in love and making plans with you for the future. Whoa! Getting too serious too fast is a definite red flag. What’s the rush? True love does not happen this quickly.

#2: They’re Too Controlling.

Do you feel like you’re getting the third degree? If your SO questions your every move and wants to keep track of you at all times, this is a major red flag! This is not the sign of a healthy relationship, but of a person who needs to control you! This only gets worse with time.

#3: They Want You All To Themselves.

Remember the time you used to enjoy spending with friends and family? Well, if that’s changed since your SO has come into your life, you may want to ask yourself, why? If your new partner seems to interfere with your close relationships by wanting to keep you all to him/herself, this is a definite red flag. Trying to isolate you is not a good thing!

#4: They Avoid Sharing Details About Their Own Life.

Does your new partner seem to be secretive about work, family, or his/her past? If it seems as if they aren’t open with you and changing the subject is a pattern, beware! They could be hiding something, and it may not be good. This is a definite red flag!

#5: They Recently Ended A Relationship.

If your new SO talks about his/her Ex frequently and even compares you two, then you may just be a “Rebound Thing.” And, if your new partner likes to post lots of pictures on social media about you, although you may be flattered, he/she most likely wants the Ex to see! It’s normal to have left over feelings that need to be resolved after a relationship ends, but do you want to be the “Rebound?” Unfortunately, these relationships do not usually last. So, if your new SO seems to still be working through “unfinished business” with an Ex, this is a red flag!

#6: They Are Often Difficult To Communicate With.

Since communication is the basis of any healthy relationship, if you find it difficult to talk to your SO, this relationship is not long for this world! If he or she isn’t open to hearing what you have to say, does not take your feelings or feedback into account, and is often argumentative, pay attention to this red flag! If this is an issue in the beginning, it’s unlikely to improve.

#7: They Are Abusive Or Have Anger Issues.

If your partner ever becomes physically violent or abusive, this is a major red flag! Even if their anger has not turned on you, however, you know that they have anger issues with others and an explosive personality, this may be a sign of future abuse in your relationship. Is this really someone who you want to be with?

#8: They Don’t Want To Introduce You To Their Friends

If you’ve been dating your SO for a while now, and he or she has not introduced you to friends or co-workers after you’ve repeatedly asked to meet them, this is a red flag. Also, if your SO wants to hang out at your place rather than going out in public, pay heed! There may be someone else that they are seeing, so they don’t want others to know about you!

#9: Your Family and Friends Do Not Like Them.

Remember how your brain tends to trick you into looking at things through “rose-colored glasses” when you’re in a new relationship? Well, if the majority of the people close to you whom you respect do not like your SO, you may want to pay attention! If you find yourself defending your partner time and time again, while trying to convince those who care about you that your SO is a wonderful person, this is a red flag. They may be seeing something that you can’t!

#10: You Have A Gut Feeling That Something Just Doesn’t Add Up.

Always remember to listen to your intuition and gut feelings. If something just doesn’t feel right about your new partner even if you can’t quite put your finger on it, this is a definite red flag! Let’s not forget the many times that our gut has saved us from disaster. It’s one of your best tools for survival! So…trust it!

Paying attention to these 10 Relationship Red Flags will help you become more aware of potential problems and hopefully help you to avoid negative or unhealthy relationships!

Jacqueline Falchook, M.Ed., Marriage & Family Therapist and the Psychological Consultant for ROVR