How to Improve Your Standards and Make Meaningful Connections
You’ve likely seen it happen with your own circle of friends; one of your long-time besties just can’t find love. Their standards aren’t high – or perhaps they haven’t even set standards – meaning that they’ll go on a date with just about anyone who sends a nod their way. So, they enter in a brand new fresh relationship with someone that just isn’t right. They haven’t set the standards you know they deserve, which leads them into unhappy cycles and eventual failed relationships.
It’s so important to know what you’re looking for. Setting standards gives you the ability to identify criteria for what you are looking for. This will help you immensely in the dating process – especially when you’re meeting someone new on a dating app. It will help you truly understand what you are looking for, and define what you need to compliment your life.
Here is how you can improve your dating standards and make meaningful connections.
Define what you are looking for.
If you can relate to the example above, you’ll know that most people don’t know what they are looking for.
It’s important to define what you need in your life, which will help you identify qualities or characteristics of your next potential boyfriend or girlfriend.
Start to think about the things that matter to you the most. Define your “type” – the physical characteristics that you prefer, interests, and family background. Rank your standards in order of importance and above all, don’t settle!
Here are questions you might want to ask yourself when determining what you are looking for:
What are my appearance standards? For example, are you attracted to a female with short blonde hair, or perhaps a male who is tall with a broad stature?
What are my financial standards? Determine if financial history is important to you. Is it a deal breaker if your prospective partner has debt?
What activities do I want to do with my partner? Is it important to you if he/she enjoys outdoor or indoor activities?
Is my partner ambitious? Determine if you are interested in a partner who has ambition and drive. Perhaps you’d prefer an individual in a management position or someone who is an entrepreneur.
What interests should I share with my partner? Are you a triathlete or perhaps you are an avid golfer? Define the interests you feel are important to share with your prospective partner.
What personality traits does my partner have? Determine if you are attracted to someone who is serious and charismatic or are you attracted to a “funny-guy”. Make this a priority!
Do I want a partner who is co-dependent or someone who enjoys personal time? Do you have a regular standing girls’ night every Friday? Or perhaps you watch football every Sunday with the boys. Ask yourself – is it important for your prospective partner to appreciate and respect this?
Are religion and shared ideals important to me? Religion and politics are two topics that traditionally need to be avoided on first dates, but if you are setting dating standards, it’s an important item to consider on a second or third date. These might be important to you, so make sure they are on your list.
What are instant deal breakers? Bad breath? Poorly selected shoes? Too tall? Too short? Determine your instant deal breakers.
Is location important? Some of us are perfectly fine with dating someone who lives in a nearby city, yet others need their partner to be closer. Determine if location is important to you.What are your instant dealbreakers in a relationship? Click To Tweet
When you’ve set your standards, it’s time to set yourself up for success.
So, now that you’ve set your “must-have qualities” according to the questions above, it’s time to set yourself up for success.
Align your standards with your dating habits.
If you’ve gone through the questions above and have determined that you are looking for someone with a stable income, who is attractive, has a passion for his or her career and is focused on the future, you wouldn’t look for this individual in a dive bar or after-hours club, would you?
Similarly, if you aren’t looking for hook-ups, don’t download and set-up a profile on such apps.
Consider the benefits of using a platform like ROVR, where you can find your prospective partner based on interests and the type of relationship you are looking for. There’s no need for mixed signals.
Get to the nitty gritty (but be subtle.)
If you’re on a first date, it’s better not to ask about their thoughts on Donald Trump within the first five minutes.
Yet, if political alignment is important to you, you might want to ask such questions within the first few dates instead.
Be sure not to come across as overbearing, but make sure to ask the questions that are truly important to you.
Know when someone is either a great fit or incompatible.
This is where you need to trust your gut. During the first 60 seconds after meeting your prospective partner, it is important to listen to your instincts. Is this person right for you? Are you impressed by their initial actions? First impressions are everything. Listen to your gut feelings!First impressions are everything. Listen to your gut. Click To Tweet
When you are dating someone new, it is important to consider your standards in order to make a meaningful connection. Ask yourself the questions you need to consider when determining your “must-haves”, and remember – you are worth the standards you set!